Things to do before I vote green

I’ve come to accept that one day in the future, I will vote for the Australian Greens. However, I will only do so after all of the following occur.

  • I manage to fly without the aid of modern technology
  • pigs and elephants mimic my feats
  • hell freezes over to absolute zero
  • I play full forward for the cats (except I actually mean that, Julia)
  • I hit a hole in one…on a par 5
  • the sun goes supernova (ultimate global warming)
  • Gaia appears to me in a vision
  • empirical evidence emerges that the world is flat and the moon is made of green cheese
  • apes take over the world
  • when Julia Gillard wins the next election
  • when Al Gore buys some solar panels
  • aliens destroy the earth for our coal-burning ways
  • Don Bradman comes back from the dead and gets his average over 100
  • the Arctic completely melts
  • New Zealand declares war on Australia for all the sheep jokes (wait, that could happen)
  • a natural disaster occurs without an alarmist blaming global warming
  • when communism actually works
  • I suffer severe head trauma, crippling my judgement
  • and lastly, the greens cease to exist as a political party
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About Climate Nonconformist

Hi, I'm the climatenonconformist (not my real name), and I am a global warming skeptic, among the few in generation Y. With Australia facing the prospect of a carbon tax, we need to be asking the simple question; where is the evidence that our emissions are causing any dangerous warming?
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3 Responses to Things to do before I vote green

  1. techapilla says:

    Ha ha, how about – when Jill Singer actually makes sense.

  2. Richard A says:

    When Bob Brown becomes PM …….

  3. Deadman says:

    Ah, yes.
    A man was walking along the beach and found an old bottle.  He rubbed it a little to clean it and a genie appeared.  “Thanks for that,” said the genie, “you may have one wish!”
    
“Shouldn’t that be three wishes?” asked the man.
    “Nope.  You have one wish.  Them’s the rules. Like it or lump it.”
    
“All right; I’d like to live forever!”
    
“Sorry,” said the genie, “the rules won’t allow me to grant such a wish; that’s impossible; ask another.”
    The man thought for a few moments.  “Fine,” he said, “I want to live until I may see the ABC present only accurate, unprejudiced stories about ‘climate change’, the Australian media treat Muslims and conservative Christians with equal fairness, and the Greens get their heads out of their backsides.”
    The genie stared at the man and said, “You cunning bastard!”

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